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I'm getting old. And probably a little ornery Sometime I look in the mirror and just see a tired geezer destined for the geriatric ward of a psych hospital. I have even been tempted to starting flinging poop at random people just like my patients did when I worked in the psych ward. But then occasionally I turn my head slightly in the mirror and notice that if I look in the part of my peripheral vision where I'm barely visible anymore there's a guy that is pretty decent.
Under my stay-puffed exterior there's a dude who is made up of a bunch of amazing people. You see, I'm not only made up of me - the good parts are stolen. I guess I'm like an iPad (don't worry, I won't sue the people who originally created those parts). In fact, everything that's wonderful about me I can attribute to someone or something that has been an external force in my life. I think I'm a pretty good guy but I'm that way because a bunch of other people turned me into a kaleidoscope - or perhaps a mosaic - of their themselves. To these people I am a bit more than I have the capacity to be by myself. They each forged parts of me in different ways. Did they know that I would be who I am today? I doubt it. In fact, I suspect that they thought more of me.
It's these people I'm working to prove right.
This is a list of people who have done for me things which I was incapable of doing for myself. I have purposely left my parents, my wife and my children off of this list because they each deserve a tome written for the positive influence they have been in my life. This is a list of the people who might not know how much they have influenced me. In no particular order, here are some of the people who have changed my life:
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Mrs. Darling. She was my 1st grade teacher and as her name suggests, she was a 6-year-old's dream. Although pictures of mommy-waisted 80's jeans and puffy hair would question my pre-pubescent judgement, Mrs. Darling was my first real crush. But that's not why she made such an impact on me. When I was in 1st grade (or 'Grade 1' as Canadians like to call it), Mrs. Darling took an mediocre kid and made him think he was amazing. She's the only teacher who ever gave me perfect grades in my pre-college years. Even though I likely didn't deserve a full round of 'VS''s on my report card (the 'A+' of Canadian elementary schools), she made me believe that I did and convinced me for the first time in my early life that I had the capacity to be great.
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'JoGrampa' Kelsch. The is no one like my grandpa. I attribute nearly every creative bone in my body to this man. But beyond his passion for art and everything he taught me about creativity, he gave me something that I consider even more important - the belief that being happy is more important than being successful. Or perhaps more accurate - that true success is achieved only when you find happiness. There isn't a jollier man on the planet than my grandfather.
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Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews was my junior high woodshop teacher and the general consensus is that he was a top-shelf hard-ass. In fact, he was the one teacher that students collectively feared. I'm no exception to that. So, it should come as no surprise that Mr. Matthews was constantly reprimanding us. Me in particular. I always wondered why, as a pretty good kid in comparison to my classmates, Mr. Matthews 'The Undertaker' always came down on me. I spent more time in the principal's office than any of the other juvenile delinquents at Dr. Egbert Jr. High. During my entire stint at 'The Egg' I wondered why he was so hard on me. Not until the year of my middle-school graduation did I get the answer. On the last day of class Mr. Matthews put his arm around my shoulder and quietly told me, "You are a good young man. Better than these. Never forget who you are." A lot of times in my life I've failed to live up to the higher standard he set for me but I've never forgotten that he believed I could be more than I was.
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Cam Burbank. Cam was my young men's leader when I was a horny, self-obsessed teenager. His contribution to my life may seems smaller than many of these other people but it was more profound than anyone could understand. One day Cam handed me a paperback copy of the 'The Choice' by Og Mandino, promising me that it would turn me into a reader. This was a transformative act because that book reached down deep inside of me and snagged something I hadn't know before. It introduced me to literature. I had read books before that one but until that day I had never really READ a book. Thousands of books later I couldn't be more grateful to him for that small act.
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Elder White. Once upon a time I was a confused, love-drunk boy and found myself engaged to a girl who didn't love me. Our relationship was parasitic but I couldn't see it because I was convinced that we were meant to be together. Despite many signs that she wasn't as committed to me as I was to her, we both grappled and fought to get to the point of wedded bliss. I loved her desperately and despite the inward feeling that I needed to let her go, I couldn't manage it. One day at the peak of my confused relationship, Elder White came to speak at a young adult conference at my church. As he took the pulpit he introduced himself and then broke away from his prepared sermon and looked out at all of us and said, "I feel inspired that there is someone in this congregation who needs to hear something else right now. I am here to testify to you that now may not be the right time but that despite the pain of waiting, you time of happiness will eventually come. I testify that your Father in Heaven is preparing something better for you." After he finished speaking and the conference broke, I went up to speak with him with a broken spirit and he put his arm around me and told me, "You will find what you're looking for." That night I made one of the best choices of my life and broke off my engagement and soon after left to Arizona where a new life began. I don't know if Elder White was inspired to speak to me specifically but I'm grateful that he was there to let me hear something I already knew but needed to hear from someone else's mouth.
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"Good Buffalo Eagle" (Ezekial Sanchez). Zeke has dedicated his entire life to changing people's lives. I guess Zeke himself isn't the force of change that affected me but what he created is. When I was in Arizona I worked for the organization he founded, Anasazi Foundation. It is a non-profit that helps troubled teens rediscover their life by teaching them survival techniques and educating them on how to avoid the pressures of everyday life by connecting with themselves. It all sounds a bit hokey if you look at it from the outside but it was a spiritual journey for me. The program was created for kids with drug or violence problems but no one was more affected than I was.
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Dr. David Berceli. I consider Dr. Berceli the mentor that changed my perspective of medicine. He was one of my professors at the now defunct Human Health Studies program at ASU. In a program that could have had the tendency to make me to write off holistic medicine as voodoo, Dr. Berceli inspired me to learn to look at the human body in it's glorious magnificence. He taught me the value of harnessing the human capacity to heal and to incorporate holistic principles in my medical practice. He's a visionary and taught me lessons that will guide my career as well as my personal life.
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Bob & Lisa Gunnell. Perhaps of all these people, none have had such great an impact on me as Bob and Lisa. Their impact on my life began in late 1999 when I was a new missionary for my church. I was a scared greenie when Bob picked me up for a transfer to a new area and immediately he and his family took me in like I was their own child. It was Christmas so I was lonely and scared and in a place I didn't know. What they gave me was a new family, unconditional love and one of the best Christmases I've ever had. After my mission I kept in touch with the Gunnells whenever I could and when my engagement crumbled to pieces, they were the ones who rescued me and offered to let me come and live with them in Arizona. Over the space of the next couple of years the Gunnells did more for me than anyone could dream. They gave me a home, food, and a second family. They even set me up with several gorgeous girls when I hit a dating slump. I spent late nights in 'girl talk' with Lisa and they both taught me how to regain my independence and poured out immense amounts of love for me. There is no hope that I will ever be able to repay the love and kindness that they have shared with me over the years but they helped mold me into the man that I am.
Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity by Katherine Boo
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