Book of Grievances: #LegoLivesMatter

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As you may beginning to notice, Ryan is a common denominator in these grievance reports....

(Events as recorded today, 5/10/17)

Elaina's side of the story:

(translation: "Ryan, Ethan are being mean to me. (hearts) Daddy" She clearly knows how to work her side of the story...)

Ryan's version:

Verdict: Squeaky-E wins this one if for no other reason than she knows how to suck up.

Book of Grievances: A Shocking Situation

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This incident didn't so much involve a disagreement between children but rather our eldest (Mister-E) doing something really dumb that could have killed him or burned the house down. I suppose this event could be classified as 'Ethan vs. electrical outlet.'

Ethan's description of events:

Verdict: Everyone's still alive and the house is still intact so I suppose we'll chalk this up to a lesson learned.

Book of Grievances: The Lego House

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We already knew who was at fault in this incident, therefore we only made the perpetrator write in the Book of Grievances. Because she violated the book's rules (1 full page of writing) we made her do an extra chore at home.

Ryan's version:

Book of Grievances: The Potty Kerfuffle

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(As recounted by my children on 4/16/17)

Elaina's version of the events:

(translation: "Ryan put her leg up. -Elaina")

Ryan's version:

Verdict: Elaina shouldn't have been in the bathroom while Ryan was doing her business. However, I have no doubt that Ryan purposely swung her legs into contact with Squeaky-E. Therefore, it's a draw. No winner.

Girl got moves

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It surely surprises no one that there are plenty of girls who could pack a whooping on my arse. This is another little princess who would be celebrating a KO on me should she desire to pummel my face. It scares me that my daughter might beat me up like this one day. And honestly, I am half tempted to try and train her to do it.

breeding zombie-loving children

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What better way could there be to prepare your little ones for the zombie apocalypse than to get them a teddy bear. Tell me that this doesn't look like the perfect gift for your little tyke. Every little kid dreams of a gory zombified teddy bear.... right?? 

Okay, even I'm not weird enough to get my kids something like this. 

Sorry kids, I ate all your Halloween candy....

Pin It I got an email telling me that the kids will be on Jimmy Kimmel tonight! Awesome!