How to be alone

Pin It
I'm a guy who loves a bit of poetry. When I mention this to people, I get the occassional jab about my lack of manliness (apparently back hair only grows where poetry doesn't) but I feel pretty confident that real men appreciate beauty in the written and spoken word. I remember when I was in Cleveland attending med school and a friend was catching a ride from me after class and noticed a copy of the book "Poems That Make Grown Men Cry" sitting on my front seat. This discovery led to being offered a tampon which I graciously declined since I have a stash in my car in case my wife should need one.

I don't mind being teased about my love for poetry. There are times when it strikes me right in the heart muscles and grabs me tight. I'm not too macho to admit that I my face peed a bit while reading Ben Jonson's 'On My First Sonne':

Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy;My sin was too much hope of thee, lov'd boy.Seven years tho' wert lent to me, and I thee pay,Exacted by thy fate, on the just day.O, could I lose all father now! For whyWill man lament the state he should envy?To have so soon 'scap'd world's and flesh's rage,And if no other misery, yet age?Rest in soft peace, and, ask'd, say, "Here doth lieBen Jonson his best piece of poetry."For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such,As what he loves may never like too much.

If that doesn't get you, then there is something wrong with you.

Well, as much as I love poetry, I have to admit that there is a lot of it that I just don't get. A small bundle of it speaks to me while the rest bounces around my mind like random words thrown together on a page. But when a poem speaks to me, it often REALLY speaks to me. Such is one I found on YouTube of all places.

Many people automatically assume that I'm a natural extrovert because I get chatty with people quickly. On the contrary, I am quite introverted and get a bit of anxiety when I'm in crowds. I just hide it better than some. I actually enjoy doing things alone. I go to movies alone. I walk around the mall alone. I often sit up late alone. I do like people too but there are times when I just want to be by myself. So, Andrea Dorfman's poem 'How To Be Alone' really got me. Check it out:

What if money was no object?

Pin It


Transcript:

What do you desire? What makes you itch? What sort of a situaion would you like?

Let's suppose -- I do this often in vocational guidence of students. They come to me and say, "Well, uh, we're getting out of college, and we haven't the faintest idea of what we want to do."

So I always ask the question, "What would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?"

Well, it's so amazing. As a result of our kind of educational system, crowds of students say, "Well, we'd like to be painters, we'd like to be poets, we'd like to be writers. But as everybody knows you can't earn any money that way."

Or another person says, "I'd like to live an out-of-doors life and ride horses."

I said, "Do you want to teach at a riding school? Let's go through with it. What do you want to do?"

When we finally got down to something which the individual says he really wants to do. I will say to him, "you do that, and forget the money. Because if you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You will be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living that is to go on doing things you don't like doing. Which is STUPID! Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way."

And after all, if you do really like what your'e doing, it doesn't matter what it is, you can eventually become a master of it. It's the only way to become a master of something, to be really with it. And then you'll be able to get a good fee for whatever it is. So don't worry too much. Somebody's interested in everything. And anything you can be interested in, you'll find others who are.

But it's absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don't like in order to go on doing things you don't like and to teach your children to follow in the same track. See, what we're doing is we're bringing up children, and educating them to live the same sort of lives we're living in order that they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same thing. It's all wretch and no vomit. It never gets there!

And so therefore it's so important to consider this question. "What do I desire?"