The "revolution" that no one cares about and that won't change anything.

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Yesterday literally tens of Mormon women throughout the world decided that they were going to stick it to the man by organizing an event called "Wear Pants to Church Day." While this movement has far from taken off, it is turning just enough heads that it has become annoying and some people are beginning to think that it actually matters. These women have turned something that absolutely no one inside or outside of the Mormon church cares about into a perceived "gender issue." These are the s#$%-kickers of the LDS world who are under the false assumption that not wearing a dress to church is going to reform the religion.

For the most part, I don't discuss my religion online. I don't like throwing it in anyone's face and have fairly liberal views compared to many of my counterparts. I didn't vote for Romney (don't get too excited. I didn't vote for Obama either), I support the legalization of marijuana, and I don't particularly care whether the gays get married. I do, however, think that this ridiculous "revolution" has to stop.

Let me start off by explaining a few things to you. The LDS church doesn't impose any dress code or requirements for what people have to wear to church. They never have. People frequently attend church in all manner of attire depending on their circumstances. I know many doctors who attend church in scrubs when they are on call or police officers who are heading on-duty following the service so they wear their uniforms. There are also frequently visitors from outside the church who attend our meetings wearing jeans and t-shirts either because they can't afford anything nicer or because they simply didn't know what was appropriate. No one bats an eye. At least I don't.

I honestly couldn't tell you what a single person wore on Sunday, including myself. Actually scratch that, I know that Jack was wearing a baby-blue suit and I only remember that because I was gleefully reminded of Dumb and Dumber, one of the greatest movies of all time. If only he had worn a top-hat.... But let's be honest, attending church shouldn't be about adorning yourself in snazzy duds or a fashion statement of any kind. This isn't America's Next Top Model, it's church.

I can can hear the objections now: "Nay, Stewart! You are an ignoramus and you lie through your teeth! No one will believe that you aren't expected to dress a certain way in the Mormon church. I mean you guys have to wear that special underwear and stuff." And okay, I concede that there is a generally accepted rule for how people should dress.

Pay attention closely because I'm going to tell you what that rule is (this is top-secret Mormon stuff): You should wear your best clothing. Look in your closet and see what you have there. If I told you that I was throwing a fancy shin-dig and that you should wear your best do-dads, what would you be swaggering in? For most men, our best clothing is a suit and tie (or a bow-tie if you really know how to rock it), which is what most men in the church wear. For most women, their best clothing is a dress or skirt. There are also women who have a very nice business pant suit as their best outfit. Cool, wear it. I don't think anyone would notice. This concept isn't unique to the Mormon world and I really don't understand how it is sexist at all.

Think about if you went to a nice Christmas work party were the standard was 'black tie' or formal. What would the women be wearing? Sweat pants? Yoga gear? T-shirts and jeans? Well, you wouldn't be attending with me. I would be wearing my suit and a festive tie with a pocket square... possibly red underpants to match (okay, you caught me, I already pointed out that that wasn't true). My wife would be looking absolutely bangin' in a nice dress.

What I really fail to understand is what (and who) you all are fighting against? How can you be battling gender roles and the rules of dress when those rules simply don't exist. I used to fight with my imaginary friends when I was little but eventually I realized that there is no glory of giving a suplex to my imaginary friend when it's all in my head. That's exactly what this protest is.

Someone also needs to explain to me what is so terribly unnatural or uncomfortable about wearing a skirt or dress? Quite honestly I think it sounds fabulous! Winding blowing freely throughout my undercarriage.... It's practically like going naked. This would be my choice of clothing if no one would object. So, why is this handful of women so intent on shoving themselves into a significantly less comfortable alternative in the name of equal rights? If I didn't have to wear pants all day, you better believe I'd be flapping in the breeze. I could understand a bit if you were improving things for someone... but you're simply not.

So you may be wondering why I care, if these women are simply fighting an imaginary war. Well, because church isn't the place for that. In the LDS church, we consider our meetinghouse to be the house of God and our meetings are meant to be our way of worshiping Him. The way we dress and act is a reflection of our respect for the Lord and for those around us. It is not the forum for making a political statement on gender roles. Wear what you want but do it respectfully and don't bring your political agenda to a worship service.

(Appropriate)

 

(Appropriate)

(Not appropriate)

The other problem I have with it is that the few women who support this movement in our local congregation are not wearing nice pants that are their "Sunday best." They are wearing yoga pants and t-shirts. These are the same pants you went for a jog in yesterday and did your shopping in the day before. These women aren't poor and unable to adorn themselves in something more befitting of the occasion. They are simply lazy. If you're in my congregation and seriously can't afford a skirt or nice pair of pants so this is your excuse for wearing sweat pants for "Wear Pants to Church Day," please let me know. I am a poor medical student but will happily help you get something more appropriate for church.

If your purpose in wearing pants is to align the genders more equally, then why dress like a slob? Buy a nice pair of dress pants or a business suit and show a little bit of respect. Why not teach your kids that the house of the Lord is a place to show him respect and worship him, rather than make a statement by dressing like someone from a lululemon catalogue. Oh, no wait, I forgot, this isn't about Him, it's about you, right?

Congratulations, you have successfully helped no one and managed to look like a homeless person while doing it.